


Where Love Never Ends

by Willowbrooke



Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-30
Updated: 2015-02-05
Packaged: 2018-03-09 16:17:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3256388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willowbrooke/pseuds/Willowbrooke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em> Robbie had assured him before they had driven up to Manchester that morning that Lyn was fine with this new relationship between them.  But since James and Lyn had last seen each other, all of the existing game rules had been chucked right out the window.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to wendymr, for the 'full-service' BR. :) This story benefited tremendously from the thorough and insightful feedback she provided. I'm also very appreciative of the encouragement offered that inspired me to take this story in a very different direction than was originally intended.

James stepped out into the snow-covered back garden, pulling his coat a bit tighter around himself as the chill of the air enveloped him. Snow was gently falling now, but that was an improvement over the freezing rain that had preceded it. He made his way carefully over the somewhat icy path to the far end of the garden. 

Though its branches were now bare, the large oak tree there provided a bit of shelter. He settled with his back against the trunk, pulled out a cigarette, and lit it. Absent-mindedly playing the cigarette in his hand, he thought back over the events that had led to him standing here in Lyn's back garden on this snowy December day.

Robbie had assured him before they had driven up to Manchester that morning that Lyn was fine with this new relationship between them. Lyn had even phoned James to tell him how much she was looking forward to their visit.

He had met Lyn a handful times over the years and he liked her. He had enjoyed discovering how much like her father she was in some ways and how very different in others. She, in turn, had always seemed friendly and pleased to see him.

But since they had last seen each other, all of the existing game rules had been chucked right out the window. In spite of Robbie's continued assurances, James had been decidedly nervous as they'd pulled up in front of her house. But she'd been lovely. She'd greeted him warmly with a hug and a little 'happy for you and dad' speech. 

In spite of outward appearances, though, James was sure that she must have at least some reservations. It would be strange if she didn't. And he had certainly picked up on a sense of unease when she'd apologised for the size of the guest room and had said that she hoped they wouldn't be too crowded in there together.

He understood, of course. It had to be weird for Lyn to think about her dad sharing his bed with someone again, let alone another man; considerably younger too, and his sergeant to boot. At least the job concerns would soon be resolved, as Robbie was set to retire at the end of the month. 

As he brought the cigarette to his lips once more, his thoughts drifted back to that night almost two months ago now, when he and Robbie had kissed for the first time. It had been a night like so many others; the two of them quietly sharing beers on Robbie's sofa, both trying to deal with the emotional aftermath of yet another difficult and heartbreaking case. That case had reinforced in James's mind the thought that had become more and more frequent. He honestly wasn't sure how much longer could he continue to do this job. It was taking a toll, mentally and physically, and he needed a change.

He had actually been on the verge of telling Robbie what he was thinking that night, a rare enough occurrence, but before he could get the words out, Robbie had reached over and taken James's beer out of his hand, setting both bottles on the table. As he'd turned back to face James, he'd hesitated only briefly before reaching out and covering James's hand with his own. 

"James, I've been giving some serious thought to retirement. I've reached the point where I'm honestly not sure how many more pointless acts of violence I can shrug off or how many more grieving families I can cope with." 

Momentarily caught off guard, James had quickly realised that he shouldn't really be surprised. The two of them were always so closely in sync. It didn't really matter if one or both left, his whole world was about to change and he felt it like a gut punch. What would this mean for their relationship? Conflicting thoughts and emotions had vied to be addressed in his brain, but he couldn't deal with any of that yet. 

He'd attempted to clear his mind and focus as Robbie had taken a deep breath and continued. "Every case like this one is harder to get past and after each one I think, maybe, I've finally done enough."

As he'd been talking, Robbie had wrapped his fingers around James's hand and had begun to rub his thumb across the back of it. James had instinctively turned his hand over and intertwined their fingers as Robbie had continued speaking. "I'd like to think that I've hung on this long because I know what I do makes a difference, and that's certainly part of it, but the truth is much more personal than that. Knowing that I get to spend every day with you, working side by side, being challenged to be better at what I do because you push me to, laughing at your smartarse comments - those are the things that have really kept me at it. 

"You said to me once, 'If you go, I go.' That works both ways, you know. I've seen you struggling lately and maybe leaving the force is the right decision for you. Maybe it's not. But one way or another, it seems we're coming to the end of our working relationship, and if that's the case, there are some things that finally need to be said. I reckon we need to take a hard look at whatever this is between us and see where it goes. Truth is, I can't imagine living a life without you beside me every day."

God. Standing here now, he could almost feel again the deep emotional reaction those words had created. They had threatened to overwhelm him and it had been almost too much to take in. He'd had to focus on staying calm, but he remembered tightening his grip on Robbie's hand.

Robbie had chuckled softly. "S'pose I'm making a bit of an assumption here, but I _am_ a trained detective. I don't think I've misinterpreted all those looks when you didn't think I was paying attention, or the lingering touches, or all the other little clues I've picked up on over the years. Wasn't appropriate for me to acknowledge them or respond in any way before. But, I hope I'm not wrong in thinking that you might feel a bit more for me than friendship?"

James had lowered his eyes as a full-on grin had overtaken his face. He'd had to work to keep his voice even as he'd responded. "You know you're not wrong. You're half of a pretty good detective, remember?" 

"The brains, as I recall." Robbie, too, had a grin on his face now.

"Yes, well. And all this time I thought I was being so bloody brilliant at hiding it from you. Apparently, I'm a crap actor. No BAFTAs in my future then." 

He remembered the feeling of butterflies in his stomach in those moments. The disbelief he'd felt that after all this time, things were about to be said, and, hopefully, things were about to be done, that he had dreamt of for so long. He had paused and taken a deep breath. "There were times, too, when I thought I saw something from you, but I'd convinced myself that I was only seeing what I wanted to see."

As he'd met Robbie's eyes, he'd reached out and cupped Robbie's face with his hand. He knew, of course, that at a significant moment like this, Robbie would be expecting an appropriate quote from him and he hadn't wanted to disappoint. Keats came to mind first. "'Nothing ever becomes real till it's experienced.'" And when their lips had come together that first time, James had finally understood all of those silly analogies about fireworks and being the only two people in the world. 

These past couple of months, which had been spent finding their way through this new relationship between them, had been the best James had ever known. They had chosen to keep it just between them for the time being, partially because they were still working together, but mostly because they were not willing to share this with anyone yet. 

Though both suspected that Laura had tumbled to it. She had suddenly developed a need to touch them both, while wearing a Cheshire Cat-like grin whenever she was with them. Robbie had told him that he and Laura had figured out some months before that they were better as friends. And, in fact, Laura was now seeing someone else; a Professor of Music apparently. 

Robbie had wanted Lyn to be the first person they told, so he had driven up to talk to her a couple of weeks ago. He had told James that she had cried and hugged him and had been very accepting and supportive. She had asked her dad to bring James up for this weekend, and so here they were.

There were still some things to be sorted before they could get on with this relationship properly, of course. James had yet to decide what he was going to do, which was a major issue. There were several options he was exploring, including staying where he was and taking his inspector's exam. He had been on the verge of walking away from the force, but with this change in his life, he'd recently been reconsidering that decision. He knew Robbie was hoping he would choose to stay, but he had also made it clear that, whatever James's decision, he would have Robbie's full support. 

It was a new experience having someone in his life who was there for him unconditionally. Still, James had insisted that it was a decision they would make together. He thought that, perhaps, with Robbie being such a solid presence in his life now, he might actually want to continue in this job where he knew that he was impacting lives in a positive way, even if it was sometimes difficult to cope with the fallout. 

But in the end, no matter what decision he made, he knew that he would be coming home to Robbie at the end of every day. James always had an endless supply of quotes and appropriately witty responses available for almost any situation, but he found that he could find no appropriate words to express how wonderful that felt. 

His thoughts were abruptly interrupted when he heard the back door open. He looked up to see Robbie stepping outside. Their eyes met and James instantly felt his breath catch and his heart skip. That intense physical reaction was by no means new. He had experienced it more times than he could count over the years. It usually happened when he was lost in thought or concentrating on something and Robbie had appeared before him unexpectedly. 

The difference now, of course, was that he didn't have to hide the truth. He didn't need to worry that he might be giving himself away and he didn't need to bury his emotional reaction to Robbie's presence so that he could manage to function normally. Instead, he allowed the surprise and the joy he felt at Robbie's current unexpected arrival to show on his face, and in return he received a smile and a look that warmed him through, in spite of the cold.

Robbie began making his way slowly towards him over the slippery path. James took a final drag on his cigarette and bent to put it out in the snow. As he did so, he caught a hint of movement at the window out of the corner of his eye. He picked up the cigarette butt and stashed it in his pocket, which earned him an approving nod from the other man as he arrived at James's side.

James ducked his head to hide his embarrassment as he said, "Wouldn't want Jack to find that." He moved over to make room for Robbie to lean against the tree beside him.

"No," Robbie agreed as he rested back against the tree, close enough that James felt the heat as their bodies made contact in several places. He found it very distracting. "If this snow keeps up," Robbie continued casually, "we should be able to help him build his first snowman later."

James smiled and nodded, picturing Robbie laughing and helping Jack create a wonderful snow masterpiece. And then, quite unexpectedly, a long-forgotten childhood memory intruded. He, Paul and a couple of the other kids from the estate had built a snowman one winter day after a rare heavy snowfall. They'd laughed and argued about how to decorate it and they'd even persuaded Cook to give them an old carrot for the nose. They were all convinced it was the best snowman anyone had ever built. 

Later that day, when he'd excitedly told his father about it and asked if he would like to see it, his father had scowled at him and responded with disdain. "Why would I want to see it? Bloody waste of time building something out of snow. It'll all be gone tomorrow." Those dismissive words had stung young James and, though he had tried to convince himself that nothing his father said to him mattered, he couldn't remember ever building another snowman.

He hadn't realised that he'd gone quiet and introspective until Robbie bumped his own shoulder into James's. "You all right?"

James felt his cheeks flush. "Yeah, I'm fine." Allowing Robbie beyond the defences he'd spent a lifetime erecting around himself was difficult and most definitely a work in progress, but he was trying. "Just remembering one of my 'less than warm and fuzzy' childhood moments with my father that oddly centred around a snowman." 

"Ah." Robbie nodded his understanding and was quiet for a moment before he said, "Well, I reckon this snowman we build with Jack will be a good memory, yeah? Maybe they'll equal out."

James smiled and wondered, not for the first time, how it was that Robbie always seemed to know the right words to say to help him out of the dark places where his mind sometimes took him. The promise and support offered in that simple phrase gave James exactly what he needed to distance himself from the lingering pain and emotion that the memory had evoked. 

That moment was in the past and it truly no longer mattered. What mattered was now, and this man standing beside him. James reached out and clasped Robbie's hand in his own. "Yes, I'm sure they will." Without thinking, he placed his other hand on Robbie's cheek, leaned in and kissed him softly. 

Suddenly realising what he'd done, he pulled back and apologised. "Sorry. I'm sorry." He also reluctantly let go of Robbie's hand. He could feel the heat making its way up from his neck to his face.

Robbie gave him a confused and somewhat hurt look. "What the bloody hell are you sorry for? Thought you'd figured out by now I like it when you kiss me." 

James quickly put his hand back on Robbie's arm to reassure him. "Yes, of course, it's just - Lyn. She's watching."

Understanding showed on Robbie's face as he threw his head back and began to laugh. 

James was now the one who was confused. "What?"

"Apparently we've not been properly introduced." Robbie held out his hand to shake James's. James, still not getting it, reached out and shook his offered hand. "Robbie Lewis, Detective Inspector." 

_Ah. I'm an idiot._ "You knew."

"Course I knew. Even if I hadn't noticed the curtain move while we were talking, I know me daughter, don't I?" 

"Well," James said, "I can only claim being thoroughly distracted by you for not picking up on that, but I didn't want to put you in an awkward position with her." 

Robbie pushed away from the tree and reached out for James's hand to pull him up. As they faced each other, James felt Robbie's hands settle on his waist as he pulled James close. James happily accepted the quick, playful kiss Robbie delivered. "Appreciate that, but we're not the ones spying on her. I'd like to believe that she's just concerned for her old man, and I know she is, but she's always been a bit too inquisitive for her own good." He continued with a grin, "Course I think the real reason she's watching is because she needs to reassure herself that you're not just after me for my body."

James couldn't help laughing out loud at that. "Well," he said, as he wrapped his arms around Robbie's waist," I most certainly am after you for your body." It was his turn to lean in and give Robbie a quick kiss. "But," he continued with feeling, "there's a bit more to it than that."

"Glad to hear it. Now do you s'pose if I kiss you properly in front of Miss Nosy Parker, you might be all right with that?" 

James smiled as he raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. "You sure? Wouldn't want to scandalise her."

Robbie gave James an amused grin as he brought one hand up to tenderly cup James's cheek, brushing his thumb lightly across his lips. "Our Lyn's not easily scandalised. Besides, I've got an overwhelming desire to snog you thoroughly right now, and if she chooses to watch, then I reckon she's going to get an eyeful."

James laughed again as he happily brought both hands up to frame Robbie's face. "Yes, I think she will." As he brought their lips together again, he no longer cared what Lyn did or didn't see. All of his attention was focused on Robbie and this kiss and the intensity of emotion that surged between them. He moved his hands to Robbie's shoulders, resting them there briefly, before wrapping his arms around Robbie, pulling him closer still. 

Though the actual words had yet to be spoken between them, kisses like this left no doubt about the strong connection they shared. James loved Robbie and he knew that Robbie loved him. And now, maybe, Lyn would know that too.

When they finally separated, Robbie kept James close with his hands on James's arms, while resting their foreheads together. When Robbie spoke, his heartfelt but unexpected admission took James's breath away. "Hope you know that it wouldn't matter what Lyn thought about us. She may be my daughter, but you, well, you're my life."

James's heart leapt into his throat and he found that he was rendered quite incapable of making any type of verbal response. All he could manage was a nod and a quick emotional kiss, but he knew Robbie would understand the impact his words had had. Later, when they were finally alone, it would be time for James to respond to that declaration with one of his own. 

The idea of laying his heart bare, exposing himself in a way he never imagined he could or would do, should have terrified him. But he found that he longed to say the words properly now. Robbie was the one person in the world James trusted with his heart and he deserved to hear those all-important words spoken aloud. 

It wouldn't be easy, of course. He would have to summon all his courage and he had no idea exactly what he would say. But he hoped that by finally giving voice to all that he was feeling, he might begin to accept, and truly believe, that he had finally found his place in the world. He belonged to Robbie and Robbie belonged to him. 

"Now," Robbie said, lightening the mood, and disrupting James's thoughts. Robbie let go of James and settled back against the tree once more, while James resumed his place beside him, "the way I see it, after that little display, she'll either have tears of joy running down her cheeks or she'll be twenty shades of red. Or a combination of the two."

He paused thoughtfully for a moment and continued. "I reckon it'll be tears as our Lyn's not easily embarrassed. And she may be nosy, but she's also quite tender-hearted and cries at the drop of a hat." He paused before he added, "Besides, she'll be that relieved to know that I'm not just a sex object to you."

James actually snorted as he laughed. "Who says you're not?" Robbie gave him a look of mock disdain and he reluctantly conceded the point. "Well, all right, at least you're not _only_ that." He paused a moment and then continued with a hint of playfulness in his voice. "Perhaps she'll start dropping hints about china patterns and wedding venues now." 

Robbie rolled his eyes. "You think you're joking, man, but just wait. Now, don't know 'bout you, but I'm freezing me bollocks off. Think it's time to head in and see which way the wind's blowing."

They clasped hands tightly as they made their way back up the slippery garden path. James glanced at the window, but saw no further movement there. He hoped Robbie was right about how Lyn would react. He certainly didn't want to be the cause of friction between them.

As they stepped inside, she was there to greet them. Her eyes were most definitely red and moist, and she had a soppy grin on her face. She reached up and gave her dad a suffocating hug. Then she turned to James and gave him an equally ardent one. He couldn't decide if he was more embarrassed or relieved. He returned the embrace a bit self-consciously.

As she pulled away she wiped at her eyes and said, "You two must be chilled to the bone. Why don't you get the fire started and I'll put the kettle on. Jack will be up from his nap soon, so you can have some special time alone with him, Dad, which will give James and me a chance to have a nice chat. And maybe later his two granddads can help him build a snowman." She quickly brushed her hand across her eyes again as she turned and disappeared into the kitchen.

Robbie and James shared an amused look as they made their way into the sitting room. Robbie shook his head in apparent warning as he spoke. "Reckon you're in for it now, lad. You're about to find out what it's like to be sitting on the opposite side of the interrogation room table, and my daughter can be more relentless than any seasoned copper when she's got a bee in her bonnet. She'll have all sorts of questions she'll be wanting answers to, including when you plan to make an honest man of me." 

James laughed at that. "Do you want to be made an honest man?" But as he thought about sitting opposite Lyn, answering question after question, he wondered if he mightn't be taking this too lightly. She was, after all, the daughter of one of the best interrogators James had ever known and the last thing James wanted was to be put in a position where he would be asked a lot of personal questions. His expression quickly changed from light-hearted to serious. "Do you really think I should be concerned?"

Robbie appeared to consider that carefully and he hesitated before he responded, but when he did, it was with a telling grin. "Nah, you're all right. But I guarantee you'll be needing a drink when you're finished."


	2. Chapter 2

Lyn made one more swipe at her eyes as she filled the kettle and began organising tea and biscuits. As she moved around the kitchen, she thought about the scene she had just witnessed between James and her dad. She was still reeling from the unexpected response she had had to it.

It would have been obvious to them both, of course, given her emotional reaction when they had come back in, that she had been 'observing' them. And, though certainly embarrassed to be caught in such behaviour, in a way she was glad that they knew she had seen them. She hoped that there would no longer be any doubt about her support of their relationship. 

Still, she would find an appropriate time to apologise to each of them, because spying (that was really the more accurate term, wasn't it?) on people when they were not aware of being watched was beyond impolite; it was an invasion of privacy and she was not proud of herself. Bad enough she had done it, of course, but worse, because one of the people she had been spying on was her dad. And though she had told herself that she was just concerned about him, she knew that wasn't the reason really, because she liked James. And there had been no doubt in her mind that he was good for her dad.

She'd met him a few times over the years and she'd taken to him straight away, though he was uncommonly quiet and a bit hard to get to know. She believed that James had had a great deal to do with how well her dad had managed to readjust to life back in Oxford after losing her mum, and she was grateful to him for that. 

And, in hindsight, surely even the first time she'd seen them together, she'd known that there was something unique and very special about the relationship between the two of them, hadn't she? 

So, when her dad had driven up last month to tell her that, after all this time, he and James had come to realise that they felt a bit more for each other than friendship, she hadn't been completely blindsided. But the idea still took some getting used to. To begin with, James was considerably younger than her dad, probably not much older than she was, in fact. Though in many ways, he was clearly much older than his years. And then there was the gender thing. She really had absolutely no problem with same-sex relationships. Love was love, and everyone deserved to be with the person that made them happy. 

It was just that she'd never suspected that her dad was attracted to men as well as women. She suddenly wondered if her mum had known, but even if she had, Lyn felt sure that it wouldn't have mattered to her. Her parents had been devoted to each other and, at least during the years of their marriage, there would have been no one else, male or female.

Lyn had occasionally wondered over the years if Laura Hobson might not have been a romantic interest for her dad. She had also met Laura a couple of times and found her to be intelligent, funny, and easy to talk to, and Laura and her dad seemed to have a very close friendship.

But in the end, she supposed, it really didn't matter who her dad became involved with. She would still feel a bit odd about it. And even though she knew it wasn't fair, she couldn't help but feel that by starting a relationship with someone else - anyone else - her dad was, in some small way, letting go of her mum and the life their family had shared. Of course, she knew that wasn't true. She knew very well how much her dad had loved her mum, and how deeply he had mourned her loss. 

He deserved to be happy again, and if James was the person who brought happiness back into his life, then really, how could she not be supportive? 

When James had stepped outside for a smoke, she'd suspected that he had also needed some space. He had clearly been a bit on edge when they'd arrived and, though she had done her best to make him feel welcome, she was sure he had picked up on some of her underlying unease and hesitance. It seemed there was very little he missed. So, a natural detective, then. That thought made her smile. 

Once James had made his escape, it hadn't taken long for her dad to come up with an excuse to join him. Lyn knew that she should let them have that private time together, but, in the end, curiosity had won out. It seemed that she couldn't resist the urge to see how they interacted when they were alone and so she had shamelessly stood behind the curtain, carefully peering around it to watch the two of them together. 

And then she had witnessed _that kiss._ She had been surprised by the tenderness of their touches and the passion that had flared between them. The strength of their bond had felt so intense and palpable that it had taken her breath away. 

That beautiful moment had absolutely convinced her that not only was this thing between her dad and James all right, it was truly extraordinary. It was clear that they shared a deep love and a very special connection. 

The tears had come then, and it hadn't been just one or two trickles running down her cheeks; it had been full-on waterworks. She'd found herself gasping out sobs, while trying to catch her breath, and get herself under control.

She realised that was an extreme reaction, but she understood that it was about much more than the joy of seeing her dad and James so happy and solidly connected. It was also about mourning a loss, and grieving for things that would never be again. It was about life moving forward and leaving pieces of the past behind. It was probably about a lot of other things too. 

She would need time to deal with all of the emotions that one kiss had brought to the surface for her, but one thing was certain; it was a moment she would never forget. 

As James and her dad had made their way back towards the house, she'd willed the tears away and forcibly slowed her breathing to a normal rate. Her red and puffy eyes would most certainly give her away, but she'd found that she really didn't care. Those tears had provided a needed emotional release, and they were an honest expression of all she was feeling. She'd always cried at the smallest things and this was a rather big thing.

In spite of her resolve to steady her emotions, she couldn't seem to stop herself from greeting them both with big, teary-eyed hugs. God only knew what they must have thought, but she wasn't going to worry about that right now.

The kettle had come to a boil and as she filled the teapot, she allowed herself to wonder briefly what her mum would have thought about her dad and James, and she knew instinctively that she would have been happy that her dad had found someone to fill the emptiness in his life.

She dabbed at her eyes one last time and blew her nose. She took a deep breath, picked up the tea tray, and headed for the sitting room.

 

****

 

Conversation had been casual as they drank their tea. James had enjoyed hearing the stories that Lyn had told of Jack's adventures, as well as the ones Robbie had responded with, about things Lyn had gotten up to when she was a little girl. 

He found himself observing the comfortable and light-hearted interaction between father and daughter with a detective's eye, and though he'd seen them together a few times in the past, this was much more intimate and relaxed. He smiled to himself as he noted how Robbie's eyes lit up every time they settled on Lyn. And how Lyn smiled from the heart when Robbie reacted with a genuine laugh to something she had said. 

There was a bond between them that felt very strong and special. He was reminded of that old cliché about a father being a daughter's first love. 

But as much as the two were enjoying their time together, he found that he was constantly being brought into the conversation by both of them. Lyn had rolled her eyes at a story her dad had told and asked James if he'd ever heard a more ridiculous exaggeration.

Robbie had addressed him directly as he'd told his stories, making sure that James understood all of the unique family references. It was clear that they were both making an effort to include him, and though it would take him some time to sort out all of the feelings and emotions their efforts produced, he could say without hesitation that it had felt good. 

Jack had woken up just as the three of them were finishing their tea and Lyn had gone off to see to him. 

Of course, James knew that he could easily avoid this 'heart to heart' with Lyn, and he was sorely tempted, but he also knew that Robbie really wanted the two of them to get to know each other better. And if it was important to Robbie, it was important to him.

James was pretty sure that Robbie's warnings were mostly in jest, but he _was_ concerned about putting his foot in it somehow or saying completely the wrong thing and cocking it all up.

Just as he was about to ask Robbie's advice on how to handle this conversation, Robbie spoke first and his tone was more serious. "I was joking, mind, about Lyn giving you the third degree. She's a good lass and she'd never deliberately say or do anything that would make you uncomfortable, but she won't have any way of knowing that certain subjects should be off limits." 

James understood that Robbie meant questions about his family. "I'll head up now to take charge of Jack, and when I have her alone, I'll make sure she understands that there are a few topics she should avoid." He briefly laid his hand on James's arm as he stood. "Other than that, you're on your own." As he walked out of the room, he threw over his shoulder in a much lighter tone, "but my money's on you and that fast-moving brain of yours." James couldn't help but smile.

Lyn found him in the kitchen washing up the tea things while trying, without much success, to relax. He'd been going over in his mind possible scenarios for how this conversation might go, and the more he thought about it, the more he envisioned disaster. Innocent had been spot on when she had said he was not exactly a breezy extrovert. He was no good at making personal connections with other people and he hated the thought of being asked about things he didn't really want to discuss. But it was too late to back out now. 

As Lyn walked in, he looked up at her and she smiled warmly. "I'm not sure which of them is enjoying this time together more. Jack adores his granddad, and Dad is in heaven, I think. When I left them, Dad was already down on the floor and they had all of Jack's cars and lorries out. Dad was making car noises and Jack was giggling and trying to imitate the sounds." 

James smiled at the image and he wondered if he might sneak off for a minute to witness that scene for himself just as Lyn said, "Here, look." She pulled her phone out. "I couldn't resist taking a few photos." As Lyn scrolled through the pictures, they laughed at each one and shared comments. Nothing like a few heart-warming photos to break the ice, James thought. 

When Lyn had tucked the phone back into her pocket, she opened a cupboard door and pulled out a bottle of what appeared to be Scotch. Another cupboard produced two short glasses. Maybe this conversation wouldn't be so bad after all. "A friend brought this back to us from Scotland. I don't know much about Scotch, really, other than this is a blend, not a single malt, and this particular one is not widely distributed, so it's a bit of a treat. Anyway, it's lovely, mild, and warm, and I thought maybe, since Dad has charge of Jack, we might indulge."

James laughed at that. "Well, you might be able to twist my arm." 

Lyn laughed too. "Good. I don't often have an excuse to drink in the middle of the day." She grabbed the bottle and glasses and led the way to the sofa near the fire. She poured them each a generous amount and as she handed James his glass, she held hers up in a toast. "Cheers."

"Cheers." James touched his glass to hers. They each took a sip and James was suitably impressed. "This is excellent." He picked up the bottle to study it, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Lyn appeared to be getting comfortable, tucking her legs up under herself on the sofa. He set the bottle down and turned slightly to face her. So far, this was going better than he'd anticipated. The whisky definitely helped.

They were both quiet for a moment before Lyn spoke. "Do you remember the first time we met?"

James did. Even then, he'd been anxious to make a good impression. "I do. As I recall, we'd just finished up the case involving the Midnight Addiction." 

Lyn laughed. "Yes. Dad was reliving his youth and you'd had a rather nasty experience with a sewage lagoon and some knives." 

"Yes, well, I'd say it's all part of the job, but I think that was beyond anything I ever expected I'd have to do. Ruined my favourite suit." 

Lyn, it seemed, couldn't suppress her giggle. "Sorry. I don't mean to laugh. I'm really glad you saved that man's life and that you weren't hurt in the process. And at least you solved the murders."

"It was your dad that solved that case and it was brilliant how he worked it all out. He's always the first one to give credit to others when it's deserved, but he never sees anything he does as special or worthy of notice. Of course, he's got his own unique way of working, and that's given Chief Superintendent Innocent more than her share of headaches over the years, but his success rate speaks for itself. She told me the other day that she's gutted to be losing him and that his departure will leave a huge hole in the department."

It occurred to him that he was preaching to the converted here, but he knew that Robbie certainly wasn't one to sing his own praises and he wondered how much Lyn really knew about her dad's outstanding career, so he continued. 

"I'm still not sure what I'm going to do when he retires, but if I stay, I know it will be a big adjustment, learning how to work with someone else. Your dad's one of the best coppers I've ever known and it's been an honour to work beside him all these years. Everyone likes and respects him and he'll be missed." He paused briefly. "I suppose I'm telling you all this because I know he'd never tell you himself, and I thought you'd like to know." 

She nodded as tears welled in her eyes and she reached out briefly to lay her hand on James's arm. She was silent for a moment before she spoke, but her voice still trembled a bit. "Thank you, James. I can't tell you how much that means to me." Perhaps to give herself a moment to compose, she reached for the bottle and refilled their glasses.

They clinked glasses again and each took another drink. When Lyn finally spoke, she seemed to have returned to her previous reflective mood. "Dad always used to tell Mum, when she was upset with the way Morse sometimes treated him, that the relationship between partners was similar to a marriage. It wasn't always a perfect relationship, but there was an underlying respect and loyalty and a firm belief that each partner would give his life for the other without hesitation.

"I was too young to understand any of that then, of course, but looking back, I do think that there was a strong bond between Dad and Morse, it was just different because Morse was different." She smiled. "Through an adult's eyes, I think I would call him 'socially awkward.'" 

She paused to take a sip of her drink. 

"When Dad came back from his secondment, I worried about him constantly. We'd talk every day and I could tell, even though he'd never admit it, that he was struggling to readjust to Oxford and to life there without Mum. Then, one day, he started talking to me about this new sergeant of his. He used terms like brilliant, smartarse, and walking Wikipedia. He'd tell me stories about how respectful and empathetic you were with victims' families, or things you'd done that had given him a good laugh." 

James ducked his head to hide the embarrassed smile that appeared at her words.

"It wasn't just the frequent mentions of you, but the tone of his remarks that I really picked up on. He was more animated than I'd heard him since he'd come back, and he seemed to be less burdened. So, long before we met, I had created this image of you as some sort of guardian angel or at the very least, a kind, saintly, 'larger than life' genius with magical healing powers." 

He rolled his eyes at that. "God, you must have been very disappointed when we actually met, then."

Lyn laughed. "Hardly. I was quite relieved to discover that you were very much flesh and blood, and yet still exactly as Dad described you. It's funny, but I remember thinking, the first time I saw you two together, that you just seemed to complement each other so well. It was almost as if you could read each other's minds and were perfectly in tune. 

"Once I'd actually met you and had seen that strong connection between the two of you, I stopped worrying so much. It was a relief to me to know that he had you there and that you were watching out for him. Seems like this 'new' relationship has been in the making for some time then, yeah?"

"Yeah, I suppose it has, though I honestly never expected it to happen." James suddenly realised that he might just have given away more than he intended, so he changed the subject quickly. "Did you know that the first words your dad ever spoke to me were, 'Are you for me?'"

"What?"

"That day Innocent sent me to pick him up at the airport. I had a sign with his name on and when he saw it, he walked over and that's what he said. I've often marvelled at the prophetic nature of that random choice of words."

Lyn was silent for a moment before she said, quite unexpectedly, "You love him very much, don't you?"

He knew he should mind that sudden and intrusively personal question. He hated it when people probed too deeply into his life and that particular question was about as deep and personal as it could get. James looked hard at Lyn for a moment. She was looking mortified and very much as if she wished she could retract her words. 

He gave her a reassuring smile and then slowly dropped his eyes to his glass, as he swirled the liquid in it. He supposed it was partly the whisky, but for some reason, he didn't really mind her asking. He took a large sip, felt the lovely burn as it ran down his throat, and looked back up at her. "I do, yeah. Very much." He was quiet for a moment before adding, "But for the record, it's not something we've actually said to each other yet, so I'd appreciate you keeping that under your hat."

Lyn smiled as she reached out and placed her hand on James's arm. "Your secret's safe with me, though after that lovely interaction I witnessed between the two of you in the garden today, I don't think it's much of a secret." She grimaced and added, "Oh. And, I'm really sorry about that. I didn't mean to spy on you. I kept meaning to walk away, but...well; Dad always says I'm far too nosy for my own good." 

It was James's turn to smile. "It's okay. I knew you were there."

"Ah, I wondered. That's why you pulled back from Dad so suddenly, isn't it?"

James nodded. "I didn't want to put him in an awkward position with you, but of course, he already knew that you were there. He said that if you chose to watch then you'd just have to deal with whatever you saw, or something to that effect."

"Yes, he would say that," she said with a smile, "and he's quite right, too. But I want you to know that I think Dad's made a brilliant choice in a partner, in every sense of that word." She appeared to hesitate before she spoke again. 

"James, the last thing I want to do is intrude into your life. Dad did tell me that I should avoid questions about your family, but I just want you to know that you're part of our family now and I'm really just so pleased that you and Dad have found each other." She leaned in and brushed a quick kiss against his cheek before turning to pick up the bottle and fill their glasses one last time, raising hers in a final toast.

"To you and Dad. Oh, and if you two ever decide to make things official, I have a really good friend who's a professional wedding planner."

James was feeling a bit overwhelmed by this whole 'bonding with Lyn' thing, but he had to laugh at that. Robbie had been right about her wanting to see everything neatly tied up. 

James found himself thinking back to the comment he had made to Robbie earlier about china patterns and wedding venues. Robbie had surprised him later with his own teasing comment regarding James making an honest man of him. Both were said in jest, of course, but it was the first time marriage had been mentioned at all between them. He found it interesting that Robbie seemed comfortable enough with the topic to joke about it. 

James had actually given some thought to the subject a few times over the last couple of months. Prior to this wonderful new relationship with Robbie, marriage was not something he had ever imagined as even a remote possibility in his life before. But now, it was at least an option; something to consider.

And if he were being honest with himself, he would have to admit that the idea of the two of them committing to each other in such a formal and public way certainly had an appeal. 

Of course, he had no idea how Robbie felt about it. His marriage commitment to Val had been for life and James honestly didn't know if he would have any desire to marry again. James hoped that it might at least be something they could discuss at some point.

He tapped his glass against hers once more and gave her a genuine smile as he replied, "Thank you, Lyn. I promise you'll be the first to know, though given that, as I said, we have yet to say those all-important words to each other, I don't think marriage will be happening any time soon." 

"No. No, of course. Sorry, ignore me." She had the grace to turn a bit red. "Everyone who knows me will tell you that I'm an incurable romantic."

They drank again and as Lyn set her glass on the table, she changed the subject once more. "Do you suppose you might help me make dinner? Dad says you're an excellent cook and I'm afraid after three whiskys, I'm going to need a second pair of hands to get the job done."

"Of course. Though, given the alcohol we've both consumed, I think we should ask Robbie or Dave to do any knife handling that's required, don't you?"

"Yes, that's probably for the best." They were both laughing when Robbie walked in with Jack in tow. 

"Oi. Looks like the two of you have been having a bit too much fun." James saw him eye the bottle and grin. 

"Now, if Jack and I can pry you both away from your little chinwag, we reckon there's enough snow on the ground to build us a first-class snowman, right, lad?" Robbie looked at Jack, who smiled and nodded enthusiastically.

As they were all bundling up to head outside, Lyn's husband, Dave, arrived home. James was introduced to Dave and before even the most mundane conversation could be exchanged, Jack began pulling on Robbie's hand, whining in a loud voice. "Snowman, Grampy! You promised. Now!"

"Jack," Lyn admonished, "we don't interrupt people and we ask for things politely. Can you say 'Please, can we go build a snowman?'"

Jack looked at the floor, pouting momentarily, but quickly looked back up at his grandfather. "Please, Grampy?" 

"Aye, lad," Robbie responded, smiling. "Let's go and build that snowman."


	3. Chapter 3

Lyn took more pictures and shot some video as the snowman took shape. Tears threatened again as she watched, overwhelmed with love, as granddad and grandson worked together to create a work of art. But there was something marring the perfection of the moment. James was standing awkwardly off to the side, hands in his pockets, looking on with a bit of longing, she thought, but making no move to participate. 

Though her dad's eyes kept seeking James out, for some reason, he did nothing to encourage James to join in. It was as though he was letting James make up his own mind about whether to get involved or not. 

She knew her dad must have a reason, but she was on the point of intervening when Jack ran up to James and grabbed his hand. "Come and help!" he said, and he dragged James over to where the action was happening. She saw her dad give James a concerned look, but James nodded his head and smiled at him. James helped Jack smooth out the shape of the snowman and then the two of them went off in search of sticks to use as arms and rocks for buttons and eyes. Soon James was laughing along with them.

She had no idea what James's background was or what his childhood had been like, but the brief conversation with her dad today led her to believe that it had not been anything like hers. Her dad had asked her, told her more like, to avoid all questions or comments regarding James's family and childhood. And he had made it clear that he would be none too pleased if he found out that she had put James on the spot about anything.

Dave, who was standing beside her now, watching the proceedings with a smile on his face, suddenly put his arm around her waist. "I know that look," he whispered. "You're already planning their wedding, aren't you?" She pretended to be offended as she reached over and slapped his arm playfully. 

"They do seem good together," he said after a time, looking towards her dad and James. She found that she couldn't trust her voice to answer, so she settled for nodding her head. He leaned in and kissed her cheek. 

She'd brought out a carrot and an old hat and scarf. Her dad had put the carrot in place for the nose and James was now wrapping the scarf around the snowman's neck. She took more pictures and video as her dad lifted Jack up and helped him place the hat on the snowman's head.

When it was declared finished, she made the three of them pose for one more picture beside their creation and then they all applauded while Jack ran around excitedly. Her dad called Jack over to him and bent down to whisper something in Jack's ear while eying her over her son's head. Jack was beside himself with glee once more and he began jumping up and down. She watched suspiciously as her dad scooped up a handful of snow and began packing it into a snowball while winking at Jack.

"Best put your phone away, love, if you don't want it getting wet." Her dad grinned at her as he took aim. Dave quickly moved out of range, laughing. She debated holding the phone up in front of her face as a shield, but decided that she might as well join in the fun. So, with the phone safely in her pocket, she ducked just enough to avoid the first snowball lobbed in her direction. She reached down and grabbed a handful of snow herself, quickly packing it into a ball and firing it back at her dad.

Jack began shouting, "My turn! My turn!" His little hands struggled with the complexities of making snowballs, so in the end he chased her while throwing handfuls of snow. She ran slowly, laughing, letting him hit her at least half the time.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw James get hit dead centre, just below his chin. It must have dropped a lot of snow down inside his coat, because he reached up and pulled it away from himself while shaking it out. "Ah, now you've gone and done it, _sir._ " James grinned wickedly as he bent down, quickly made a large snowball, and let it fly towards her dad, who turned to avoid taking a frontal hit. As a result, it hit him in the back of the neck. He let out a moan as it clearly dropped a substantial amount of snow down his back. 

Dave joined in the fun, and the next few minutes were spent with snowballs flying from every direction and laughter echoing around the garden. Lyn briefly wondered what it must sound like to the neighbours. 

As her dad was running to avoid another massive snowball James had just sent in his direction, he must have stepped onto the icy path because his feet suddenly went out from under him. He landed on his backside in the snow. 

James quickly made his way over to where her dad was sat on the ground, looking a bit stunned. James's face was etched with concern as he reached out and put his hand on her dad's shoulder. "Robbie, are you all right?"

Her dad looked up at him and nodded. "Aye, I'm fine. Just a bit surprised. Give us a hand getting up, will you?" As James reached out and took her dad's hand, a grin played across her dad's face and, instead of making an effort to stand, he pulled James down into the snow beside him.

This sent Jack into a fit of giggles as he pointed to the two men. "Mummy, they're funny!" Everyone was laughing now, as James and her dad sat grinning at each other. Her dad suddenly leaned over and kissed James soundly. For his part, James looked more than a little surprised, but he happily returned the kiss. This made Jack giggle even more, and put smiles on Lyn and Dave's faces.

Before Lyn became overwhelmed with emotion again, she quickly schooled her face into a mock scowl and moved towards them. "Right. Now if you two don't want to catch your death, I'd suggest you save the snogging for later and get yourselves up out of that wet snow."

They were all thoroughly chilled as they headed inside, but it had been a lovely adventure and everyone seemed happy and relaxed as they moved back indoors. Her dad tended the fire and put the kettle on while Dave took Jack off for a bath. Lyn and James began to organise dinner. 

She had planned a simple tomato and spinach pasta bake with a green salad. The fallback recipe she always used for the pasta bake was far from creative, but pretty much foolproof, which was why she had chosen it. James read the recipe over her shoulder and smiled as he spoke. 

"Excellent choice. I've made a slightly altered version of this for your dad a couple of times and he really seemed to enjoy it."

Cooking had never been Lyn's strong suit and she wasn't going to ignore the unexpected opportunity that had just presented itself. "I don't suppose you remember that recipe or could find it online? This one is fine, but it's pretty uninspired."

"I think I could probably wing it if you'd like me to give it a try."

Lyn let out a huge sigh of relief. "Honestly, James, you'd make me a very happy woman indeed if you'd take charge of this. I'm not fond of cooking on the best of days and after our little indulgence earlier, I'd really rather sleep than cook. I'll be more than happy to act as your sous-chef. What other ingredients will you want?"

James readily agreed to take over and they searched the fridge together, finding most of what he needed. Two hours later, they sat down to an amazing meal that was hers but so much more. There were now courgettes, chilli peppers and assorted herbs included along with the traditional ingredients. But the crowning glory was the tomato and red wine sauce that James had created for it.

As they all tucked in, murmurs of appreciation were heard 'round the table. Lyn smiled as she savoured her first few bites. "I'll never be able to duplicate this, you know. Dave will never want to eat mine again."

"It's nothing too complicated," James said easily. "You helped me make it and I'd be happy to write the recipe down for you."

Conversation was low-key and amusing during dinner. Lyn was grateful that Dave had fed Jack and put him to bed early. He'd had a busy and exciting day and had fallen asleep immediately, so she was now able to relax and enjoy herself. And she truly was enjoying herself. Any lingering doubts she may have had before today about James and her dad were gone. Their happiness was palpable and she found that their happiness in turn made her feel happy and content. 

As the last of the bottle of wine was split amongst their glasses, Lyn raised hers and offered a toast. "James, Dad, I want you to know that Dave and I are really so very happy for you both. We wish you much joy and happiness in your new life together."

There. She had managed to get it out without tears. Dave, bless him, stepped in to complete the toast as he raised his glass and added, "To James and Robbie." Glasses clinked and James and her dad smiled a bit self-consciously at each other before they all drank.

Dave and her dad had insisted on clearing the table and doing the washing up since she and James had cooked, so the two chefs took their coffee and sat by the fire. 

A plan was already in place for James and her dad to spend Christmas in Manchester. They had both managed to get Christmas Eve to Boxing Day off, and then her dad would return for the last few days of the year, before his retirement became official. James's plans were still up in the air, but they would all be spending Christmas together, which would be lovely.

"So," Lyn began, with a hint of coyness in her voice, "you're obviously a brilliant cook. How are you at Christmas turkey?"

James let out a laugh that felt very relaxed and genuine. "I'm beginning to see that there's a lot of your father in you. He's also an expert at getting results through subtle manipulation." 

Lyn laughed too. "Clearly, I'm not as accomplished at it as he is."

James took a sip of his coffee and continued. "I'm sure I could manage it. I've never actually cooked a full Christmas dinner, though I've helped with Christmas meals at church, and I've cooked a turkey or two over the years." 

"Well..." Lyn employed her best persuasive voice. "We do seem to make a pretty good team in the kitchen. And by that I mean that if you take charge, I'm fairly capable of following your directions. Dad's always polite, of course, but I'd love to give him a delicious Christmas dinner which features a bird that hasn't been killed a second time by over-cooking it. And it would be lovely if we could manage all the traditional accompaniments. We've still got time to sort it all out. I'm honestly not trying to put you on the spot, but... "

"It's fine, Lyn. I'd love to do something to contribute and I'm always up for a challenge. When I get back to Oxford, you can email me your ideas for the meal and we can decide what we want to do."

The others joined them and they all talked for another hour or so until the fire died and everyone decided to call it a night. 

Once Lyn and Dave were in their bedroom with the door closed, Dave gathered her in his arms and kissed her deeply.

"Mmm. What have I done to deserve that?"

"You always deserve that." Dave smiled seductively at her. "But tonight in particular because I know that, in spite of giving them your total support, this whole thing with your dad and James has been difficult for you. Still, from the time you found out about it, you've been nothing but positive and accepting and I couldn't be more proud of you."

Lyn leaned in and kissed Dave passionately in return. "Have I told you yet today how much I love you?" She paused and looked down before she continued. "You're right, of course. No matter how much I told myself that it was fine, I still had reservations, but seeing them together today... honestly, love, it took my breath away. I still owe Dad an apology for spying on them, and before you ask, I'll explain it all tomorrow. I'm far too exhausted to manage it tonight."

She released him and moved to get ready for bed. "I admit that it's going to take awhile to get used to the idea that I might, at some point, have a step-dad. That's not exactly a possibility that ever occurred to me. And it's even stranger to think about having a step-dad who's almost the same age as me.

"But I'm already fond of James and he's made Dad happier than he's been since losing Mum. And it will be lovely for Jack to have another granddad." As she climbed into bed, she added, "I get the feeling that James has never really had much in the way of a family life, so it's nice to be able to welcome him into ours."

****

James sat on the edge of the bed and bent down to take his shoes and socks off. He'd already taken his turn in the bathroom and now he watched silently as Robbie picked up his toilet bag and headed that direction. As the door to the guest room shut behind him, James closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath to clear his head. 

He stood and stripped off his shirt while he thought back over the day, truly surprised at how well it had all gone. In fact, he had actually enjoyed the latter part of the day very much. By the time he and Lyn were two whiskys in, he had started to relax, and not just because of the alcohol. She had been lovely and honest and genuinely supportive of the relationship between him and her dad.

Dave had been great, too. They had both made him feel welcome and they had treated him very much like a member of the family. He would deal with _that_ overwhelming thought later. And then, watching Robbie interact with his grandson had stirred so many emotions in him. But he couldn't allow himself to get distracted by any of those thoughts right now. 

As he unzipped his jeans and stepped out of them, his sole focus was the conversation that would soon take place between Robbie and him; the words that he would finally speak to formalise what was so obviously already there between them. And though he was still not sure exactly how he would get there, he had no doubt whatsoever about the need and the desire to voice what was in his heart.

When Robbie returned, James was already under the covers, on his right side and facing Robbie's side of the bed. His head was still on his own pillow, but he was as close to the middle of the bed as he could get without infringing on Robbie's space. James was still a bit in awe of the fact that he now had a particular side of the bed that was his. Once again, thoughts of all that that signified threatened to intrude, but once more, he shoved them aside for later reflection. 

His gaze followed Robbie as he moved about the small room. Robbie folded the clothes he had worn today, placing them on top of their suitcase and he pulled the curtains closed. He smiled warmly at James as he finally moved to the bed, turned out the light, and climbed in, moving closer until he had taken up the mirror position to James's. As their knees bumped up against each other, they intertwined their legs. Robbie settled his hand on James's waist, while James rested his hand flat against Robbie's chest. 

It was a now-familiar and comfortable position for them on nights when sex was not the driving force. It was what James liked to think of as their 'pillow-talk posture.' Close physical contact seemed to be a constant craving for them both, but this contact was more companionable than carnal. 

They had shared many significant conversations in exactly this same position in the last couple of months. It allowed for casual caresses and kisses, but it encouraged an atmosphere of tenderness as opposed to sexual desire.

Robbie leaned in and kissed James softly now. "So, the day wasn't as bad as you were expecting, now, was it?

James smiled. "No, it wasn't. I know you told me that Lyn was fine with everything, but after today, now I _know_ that she really is." He paused before adding, "You have a lovely family. 

"Aye, I'm lucky. Lyn's a good lass and I reckon she chose her husband well. Hope she didn't put you on the spot at all while you two were working your way through that bottle."

James smiled. "No. She did tell me that you told her to avoid questions about my family, which she did, but..." James was a bit overwhelmed by what else Lyn had said and he spoke softly as he added, "She also told me that I should consider myself part of _this_ family now."

"And so you should. I told you earlier how I felt. Still, I'm glad she told you too."

James swallowed the lump in his throat as the moment was finally upon him. "She did ask me one thing that caught me off-guard."

Robbie's manner became wary and he raised an eyebrow at that. " What?"

James briefly glanced down at his hand which was, interestingly, placed directly over Robbie's heart. He took a deep breath as he leapt off the edge. "She asked me if I loved you." 

James quickly raised his eyes to Robbie's face, trying to gauge his reaction. Robbie looked momentarily gobsmacked and then more than a little annoyed, presumably with Lyn. "Bloody hell. She's got no business..." 

James cut him off before the conversation could veer off track. "Well, to be specific what she said was, 'You love him very much, don't you?' And I said, 'Yeah, I do. Very much.' But I explained that I hadn't actually said the words to you yet." 

His eyes now focused on Robbie, watching as the other man's expression slowly transformed from irritation, to comprehension of what James had just said, to pure joy. James hadn't realised he'd been holding his breath until it made its escape. He smiled shyly as he continued. 

"So, I suppose this is me telling you. Saying the actual words, I mean, though I hope you already know that..." He stopped rambling and moved his hand to cup Robbie's face. "I love you." His voice trailed off. There was really nothing more to say as he waited for Robbie's reaction, which came instantly and perfectly.

"Ah, James." Robbie leaned in and kissed him deeply and with such emotion that James was nearly overwhelmed by the pleasurable assault on his senses. "I love you too, bonny lad. More than you can possibly imagine. And, yeah, I reckon we both knew, but hearing the words...well, it... "

James's heart was soaring and he couldn't seem to stop himself from interrupting. He was aware that he was wearing that ridiculous crooked grin that he wished he could change. "I should have taken Shakespeare's advice and said it sooner." 

Robbie's expression narrowed as he raised an eyebrow and gave James a sceptical look. "Do I even want to know?"

"It's just a short but pivotal line that Juliet says to Romeo in the balcony scene. She says, 'If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully.'"

Robbie considered the words and nodded his approval. "Reckon for once Shakespeare and I are in agreement. Speak what's in your heart. What I was going to say before is that thinking we know how the other person feels is one thing, but saying and hearing the words, well, it makes it official, like. Commits us to each other. And I reckon that, for two people who aren't the best at sharing feelings and expressing emotions, that's a pretty big deal." 

James smiled. "Yes, well, in spite of our lack of verbal communication, we've somehow managed to get here, so I'd say we've done all right." He leaned in and brought his lips to Robbie's in a kiss that started slow and tender, but quickly progressed to much more.

After what seemed a very long time, Robbie pulled back with obvious reluctance. "James." Robbie, short of breath, barely managed to get the word out as he broke the kiss that was getting more than a little heated. "Hold that thought until we're back home, yeah? It's not that I'm not right there with you, especially after what we've just said to each other. It's just, well, this is me daughter's house and I'd feel a bit weird about...you know."

James laughed out loud. "Is that the new euphemism? Should we start referring to it as 'you know?'" He couldn't resist using air quotes to accompany his words. 

Robbie rolled his eyes and attempted a reproachful look, but James, of course, detected the hint of a smile under the admonishing expression Robbie wore. "Sod. You really are a bloody smartarse, aren't you? Just can't seem to help yourself." 

"I'm afraid I can't, but you love me and, as I've always been a smartarse, that must be part of what you love about me."

A smile spread across Robbie's face and he began to chuckle. "Aye, I suppose it is. Now..." Robbie rolled onto his back, pulling James along with him, wrapping his arms tightly around him. "Sleep." James happily settled with his head on Robbie's chest. He closed his eyes and tried to slow his brain. 

They would be back in Manchester in another couple of weeks for Christmas and James was surprised at how much he was now looking forward to that. His memories of Christmas most definitely did not include spontaneous hugs, affectionate teasing, genuine laughter, or lively and stimulating conversation. And he'd long ago made peace with that side of him that was jealous and envious of people whose families were so different from his. 

Now, for the first time in his life, he would be sharing Christmas with people who loved each other deeply and unconditionally and who genuinely enjoyed spending time together. And, they were including him in all of that. 

And then there was Jack. James had never spent much time around young children, but he'd found that he had very much enjoyed the time he'd spent with Robbie's grandson today. Jack's youthful enthusiasm, and his joyful approach to life were hard to resist. Jack had even managed, quite innocently, to help James move beyond a painful memory from his childhood.

He realised that spending time with Jack could be good for him. James, who had always been so deliberate, cautious, and disciplined, might actually learn a great deal from this spontaneous, capricious child. 

Christmas spent in the company of an excited and energetic three-year-old would be a new experience, but perhaps, through Jack, he might finally be able to capture a bit of the joy and wonder of the season that had always eluded him. 

It was too soon for him to truly think of them all as 'his family' yet, but maybe in time he would allow himself to do so. 

Robbie shifted a bit and dropped a gentle kiss on the top of James's head as he mumbled a sleepy, "Right. Turn that brain of yours off now and try and get some sleep. G'night, love."

James tightened his hold and smiled happily to himself as he murmured in return, "Goodnight, Robbie."

As he settled down a bit more against Robbie's chest, he could hear Robbie's heart beating quietly and that rhythmic, reassuring sound, along with the feel of Robbie's arms comfortably surrounding him, soon had him relaxed and drifting. 

The last coherent thought he had before sleep overtook him was that the day Robbie Lewis had walked into his life had been life-changing in many ways. He had found a deep and unexpected love, but it seemed that he had found so much more. 

He remembered reading an unattributed quote somewhere about family being the place where life begins and where love never ends. Though love had never been much of a factor in his own family, it appeared to exist in abundance in this one. And perhaps that familial love which was now on offer to him, would finally enable him to let go of the past and live happily in the present.


End file.
